


Steps to Getting a Husband

by BenchesBeCrazy



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Historical Hetalia, M/M, Pansexual Character, Questions of Morality, Romantic Comedy, it alternates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-01 03:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10179422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenchesBeCrazy/pseuds/BenchesBeCrazy
Summary: Prussia: An ex-nation who is currently trying to come to terms with the fact he is no longer a country. He continually must overcome the past and try to live in the moment. He is kind of failing.Seborga: A very small nation with an interesting but forgotten past. However, he doesn't really care. All he wants is to see that beautiful German again, at least once.AKA: Here is a fic for an underappreciated ship that I didn't ship until a few months ago, featuring vague historical references and probably a lot of angst. This was supposed to light-hearted. But it still has hilarious moments, so I guess I succeeded?





	1. Step One: Going Outside

   “Gilbert, you should really get out of the house more,” Ludwig, an exasperated German who was almost pushed to his limits, told his smaller but older sibling. Said sibling had been lounging in Ludwig’s house for quite a while, stubbornly doing the cooking and household chores in order to do something but avoid the outside world. Not exactly the worst behavior, but when someone does it to a self-respecting adult and does it for several decades, it does tend to grate on one’s nerves. Especially when it’s your older sibling and they feel the need to rub your pathetic love life in your face at every opportunity.

    “What, so you can invite Feliciano over again, Bruder?” The knowing and mischievous look in those crimson eyes as this was said almost set Germany over the edge.

    “Nein, because you can’t live in my house for the rest of your life.” Ludwig gave his brother a hard look, mainly because he was right and was hoping to invite Italy over. However, he had no one but himself to blame for that one. He had known he shouldn’t have let it slip that Italy ever told him his human name as it didn’t seem as though Gilbert was going to forget anytime soon.

    “Technically the house belongs to the awesome me too, I am East Germany and therefore part of Germany. I have much right to be here as you do, West.” This would’ve convinced Ludwig if it wasn’t for several things. The first being the tone that Gilbert had said that in. It was one of self-pitying and generally sadness. The second being that Gilbert used to love going out and the old him would never stay inside for very long, let alone for actual years. The third, and most important, was that Feliciano was coming over and Ludwig wasn’t about to let his brother ruin one more date with his wonderful boyfriend if it meant physically throwing the older nation out on the streets of Berlin.

    Maybe Gilbert could read his brother’s intentions from the stare he was being given from him, or perhaps the laundry had finished, but the older man stood and quickly exited the room.

    “You can’t run away from your problems forever, Bruder!” the blond called after the retreating head of white hair.

    “Ja, I can!”

    It was that because of that kind of thing that though Gilbert raised Ludwig and was quite a bit older than him, most saw Ludwig as the elder in their family.

==================

    Ludwig continued to try and coax the Prussian out the house in the following weeks. He pursued his goal of peace and quiet with his boyfriend (or as quiet as it could get with Italy) relentlessly and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

    Many of their conversations during that time period went something like this:

    Ludwig: You should go *insert activity outside of home*.

    Gilbert: Nein.

    Ludwig: I think it would help you because of *lists a psychological benefit he found in a manual about people*.

    Gilbert: Nein.

    Ludwig: Wouldn’t it be helpful if you…

    Gilbert: Nein.

    And so it went, neither brother backing down. Not that anyone that knew them, or indeed their history, would ever expect one to ever do so. It is not in their blood, nor has it ever been that a Germanic would accept defeat even in the face of the strongest foe. Which is why Germany refused to allow his elder sibling to continue staying at his house ruining his love life when Gilbert should be living in his own house ruining his own love life. It’s this train of thought that gets Ludwig to make a decision that he knew would spur his brother into action. That is what happens if you push the buttons of a German too many times; they get fed up and tell you that you should leave or they will acquaint every relic from the Middle Ages with a sledgehammer. Ludwig knew he had won that one when he watched as his brother’s face turned even paler than usual.

    Though not exactly the most conventional method, threatening someone’s prized possessions is always a sure-fire way to make someone leave your house. Gilbert left Germany’s house faster than you can say “bratwurst”. It wasn’t until he reached the bus station that it really hit him. “Wait, where the Hölle am I supposed to go?” he finally said when it dawned on him: his brother just threw him out in order to go on a date.

    Being a self-respecting German his idea of where to go involved alcohol, namely beer. This is the main reason why the ex-nation decided to sit in a bar until morning as he was going to play it safe with the love birds. Of course, this reminds him that even his kid brother could have a significant other even though he tried to take over the world. Twice. That resulted in another swig and more wallowing in sorrows. Honestly, he probably intended to have things continue that way until morning when Gilbert would try and return to his brother's house. Instead, he found himself enjoying his new near-mortality by vomiting in the bushes of a park.

    Yet even this was a blessing in disguise because he was found in that park passed out on the ground mumbling about chickens by a pair of children with strangely thick eyebrows. If conscious Gilbert would have likely been able to figure out that they were indeed nations, mainly through the fact that their eyebrows betrayed their relation to England. Alas, he was out cold and couldn’t have connected those dots even if he was, as inebriated as he found himself.

    “Look Wendy! There’s a drunk man on the ground! I bet he drank too much! Don’t Germans love beer? Isn’t that so cool!” the boy, Peter, said all of that without a single breath.

    The excited exclamation was met with only derision by his grudging friend Wendy, which she voiced by asking him, “Did you just say a disgusting, passed out man is cool?” Peter’s face fell at that remark. He was always having troubles with Wy dismissing his words and thoughts. He found it very interesting, perhaps even the most interesting thing they saw in their whole tour up to that point.

    However, he was too afraid to voice those thoughts because of what Wendy was likely to retort. Instead of arguing his point he decided the best course of action was to distract her from his earlier words. “Shouldn’t we make sure he’s alright? Didn’t Romeo say it was dangerous for humans to drink too much? We should help him!”

    Wy raised her eyebrow after Sealand finished this hurried statement and what had been obviously a cover-up for his earlier stupidity. Though honestly, he was always saying something that fit into the category of simple-mindedness. Even knowing this and still being his friend she never turned down a chance to point out flaws in his reasoning.

    “Oh, and how are we going to do that?” she said feeling as though she had at least won one more. She did win, even if she ended being talked into dragging a strange drunk man to the room where their older friend happened to be staying during their group visit to Germany.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I do not have a beta, so all mistakes are my own. I am very open to your constructive criticisms, as long as you are constructive. Please leave a comment if you are inclined to do so, I want to hear your feedback! In case you were wondering, I do not own Hetalia, nor am I profitting from the creation of this work.


	2. Step Two: Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The main pairing finally meet each other.  
> Names of the micronations:  
> Seborga- Romeo  
> Sealand- Peter  
> Wy- Wendy

    Romeo was having a weird day. The micronation's trip to Germany had actually gone quite well. Sure, Molossia had said some rude things and Ladonia said even ruder things, but it had been altogether rather enjoyable. He had left in the middle of it though as the reason he had ever suggested the trip was because Romano had said Veneziano could be found at Germany’s house often these days. He had also had some rather choice words about why this was and how it was a bad thing, which was rather hypocritical of him as he stayed at Spain’s house more often than not.

    Due to the fact that he was there so much, Seborga had plans to meet up with his older brother while in Germany and only kind of abandoned his friends in order to meet up with him. He hadn’t seen Feliciano in a long time, yet his older brother left him at six o’clock for reasons he wouldn’t name, leaving him to walk dejectedly back to his hotel room and sulk for several hours. Yet the strangeness didn’t end there, and at almost eleven Peter and Wendy showed up at his room with an unconscious man.

    “What the hell!” Romeo shrieked as he opened his door and found to his two young friends supporting a drunk man who seemed to smell rather terrible. “Why are you carrying a random stranger! That's dangerous!”

    “What’s he going to do? It’s not like he’s awake,” Wendy said with a look of pure disapproval. If Romeo had been honest with himself he would say that though small, Wy always seemed to have an aura of leadership. He was never honest, though, so he would usually just ignore it and act younger than he looked and much more youthful than he was in actuality. At the end of her already short patience Wendy snapped at Romeo, “Honestly, there is no need to act afraid of him. We’re countries; he can’t kill us. Besides, we heard you say it was unhealthy for humans to drink too much and we wanted to help him.”

    After calming down a little Romeo managed to gather his thoughts enough to say more to his younger friends without screaming. “That doesn't mean you two should carry random strangers to where you are living. It means you should make sure they have means to get to they are staying without going with them. There is a thing called safety, you know.” Sighing, Romeo decided that he had enough of lecturing his friends. After all, it wasn’t as though he made better choices. An example of his extremely bad decision making was the decision he made shortly after, in which he decided that Peter and Wendy were totally off the hook and a random stranger would be staying the night. For his safety of course. It had absolutely nothing to with the fact that he just noticed that said stranger was mind-numbingly attractive.

==================

    Romeo’s lack of self-control was the sole reason why when he woke up it was to the smell of coffee already brewing. As he blinked awake he noticed the man that Peter and Wendy had brought to his hotel sitting at the table in the tiny kitchenette sipping a cup of strong coffee. Quite obviously fending off his hangover the man rasped, “Guten Morgen,” and Romeo felt as though he was about to fall over. He decided right then and there that he wanted to hear that voice again; that was one of the most alluring things he ever heard. He would find a way to hear that again.

    “Um, I’m sorry, I don’t speak German. Do you speak English?” Romeo managed to stutter out after heroically finding his voice again. He found himself staring into impossibly crimson eyes while awaiting the answer to his question. Which, of course, didn’t make him any more ready to carry on polite conversation. He was terrible at keeping his head after he found someone that he thought was just so gorgeous, whether male, female or anything in between.

    Haltingly the man answered, “Yes, I can.”

    Romeo sighed in relief. At least he could communicate with the other man. Which meant that he at least had a shot at getting his number and going on a date with him. After reminding himself to make small steps he extended his hand to the German. “In that case, it's nice to meet you, my name is Romeo,” he said with the brightest smile he could muster. The man choked on his coffee. “Hey, I’m serious here. Don't laugh at my name,” he said as the other man tried to school his features.

    “Sorry, the name's Gilbert. Nice to meet you, Romeo. Would you care to tell me why the Hölle my awesome self is in your hotel room?” the German, Gilbert, said with a forced smile.

    Realizing what he was implying Romeo rushed to rectify the incorrect assumption the other was making. Without much pause for breath, Romeo rushed out, “Oh dear, no, nothing like that. You see, my two... younger siblings brought you here because they found you passed out and for some reason, they thought they should bring you here in case you had alcohol poisoning.” After saying his fill he smiled and tried to look as innocent as possible.

    Squinting, Gilbert stared at him for a while before standing. When he stood up, Romeo noticed that he was slightly taller than the Italian. This difference became even more noticeable when the German stepped closer to him, making him tilt his face upwards in order to look the other in the eye. Gilbert stood there, so close to him, for a few pounding heartbeats before smirking and saying, “Thank you for the coffee, Romeo,” then walking out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I do not have a beta, so all mistakes are my own. Constructive criticism is welcomed if it is respectful. Hope you enjoyed it! (Also yes, the Pan character is Seborga, I personally believe that using bisexuality to correctly make straight seeming characters have a same-sex relationship is too overused.)


	3. Step Three: Rememberance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert's return to Germany's house, some GerIta for you, and the first historical flashback.

    After an eventful and interesting morning, Gilbert returned to his brother’s house in hopes of getting better rest than what he got on a couch in a stranger’s hotel room. A stranger that he had to admit was a little cute. Stop that, _he thought. You woke up in his room with only a flimsy excuse to explain it,_ the logical part of him reasoned. The less logical half of him rebelliously replied, _but did you see him?_ _He was cute._ Sighing, Gilbert took out his keys and tried to open the door. After several minutes of trying to open the door, he figured that Ludwig changed the locks as he was still trying to kick him out and force him to live by himself. However, Prussia was stubborn enough to evade death twice before, he wasn’t going to give up just because he couldn’t get through the front door.

    Gilbert circled the house several times before deciding that the best course of action would be to climb one of the trees and climb into the window. He had plenty of practice due to his childhood in forests and scaled the tree with grace one can only gain from doing something for centuries. When he reached the window he attempted to open it, only to find it locked. _Verdammt West, why do you have to be so thorough? Why must you always block my awesome plans?_ He continued to try to open the window, but not even a minute passed before he heard a shriek and fell backward off his branch.

    He ended up being caught by several branches before he fell all the way to the ground, but he was nearly upside down because of how his clothes caught in the tree. He looked from his awkward position to glare at Italy who had sheepishly opened the window and was looking rather guilty once he realized that it was just Prussia.

   “Ve~ I’m so sorry, you scared me! Why didn’t you come through the front door?” the Italian asked while he looked down at Gilbert with wide eyes.

    Gilbert glared at him harder and snapped, “If I could do that, then why would the awesome me be climbing a tree and desperately trying to open a window?” However, he immediately regretted it when he saw the hurt look on Italy’s face. He could never stay angry at Italy for long, he was too damn adorable for that.

    After staring at him for several moments, Italy suddenly burst into action and words and said, “Well, I can open the door for you!”

    Not that he would admit it, but it took him a while to finally extricated himself from the limbs that were caught in his clothing and worked his way down. When he reached the door he found it open with Italy in the doorway profusely apologizing. He waved the other man off and went up to his room, but not before noticing that Italy was only wearing a shirt much too large for himself. Perhaps he made the right decision in staying out for the whole night.

    When he reached his destination he fell face first into his bed and immediately passed out.

==================

    _Brandenburg-Prussia was walking through the gardens in front of Hohenzollern Castle when he was caught off guard by the sound of someone crying. He immediately knew who it was, but it didn’t stop him from being surprised. The Crown Prince hadn’t been found crying like this in years. He was eighteen now and had become accustomed to his father’s disapproval and temperament. Yet the boy, now man, was obviously the one responsible for the sound of tears. Very few had the ability to stroll through the royal gardens, and out of those, only one was known to actively share their emotions with the world._

_“Are you alright, Fritz? Is there anything the awesome me can help with?” the country asked the boy in a friendly tone. After all, he had known the Crown Prince since his conception and was arguably closer to him than any other’s were. Arguably. Something had changed nearly two years before when the sixteen-year-old became attached to a Lieutenant named Hans von Katte. The boy seemed frighteningly close to the man despite the fact that he was eight years his senior._

_The young man continued crying before saying, “Didn’t you hear, Gilbert? Katte was beheaded.” He had much difficulty articulating even that short phrase. Frederick was clearly distressed, but Gilbert still wondered why the King in Prussia would go to such great lengths to punish one of his most loyal guards. Something didn’t add up._

_“I loved him, Gilbert,” the Prince sobbed._

_Gilbert saw red. "That isn't true," he whispered, his voice quiet but shaking with anger. Not at Frederick, dear no, never at Frederick_

_"But I did," the prince whispered, oblivious to the undertones of his country's voice, "I loved him with all my heart."_

_"No, you didn't. The king was right."_

_"You are taking his side! He murdered the man I love!"_

_"You are much too young to make such decisions."_

_"So I deserve more protecting than everyone else? Look around Gilbert, no one cares about age! If I am too young to decide whether I love someone or not, the young brides who arent even eleven are quite obviously too young as well!"_

_Frederick was yelling at that point, while Gilbert was looking on condescendingly. For once their positions were shifted. Years after the one still living would look back to wonder which of those young fools was right. He never did come to a conclusion._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no beta, again. Your feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated, as long as you are respectful. If you have questions about the story, ask me! I also promise that I feel sorry for the cliffhanger. Sort of.  
> UPDATE: I added some more onto the ending of this chapter. I had indended to continue with this plot but found it kind of wrapped itself up. Also note I changed the relationship tags.


	4. Step Four: Coincidences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romeo meets Ludwig and runs into Gilbert again.

    Romeo was never known to be the kind of guy to act normal around people he found attractive, but he hit rock bottom after the fateful morning with the mysterious German. He found himself wondering how he would be able to meet him again, even though all he had was a first name and no real claim to knowing him. However, he was never a logical person and let his thoughts wander with scenarios in which he met the man again. They weren’t very realistic, nor were they appropriate, but he didn’t care. He wanted to see that silver hair again, he wanted to look into those impossible eyes once more. Romeo was sitting at the table that held the wonderful enigma not hours before and was picking at his salad when he heard a knock at the door.

    He leapt up to answer and came face to face with his brother, who had abandoned him yesterday. Yet Feliciano wasn’t by himself and next to the energetic Italian stood a stoic blond, who could only be the infamous Germany. Unlike his other brothers, though, Romeo was never one for following the rules. He knew the havoc one wayward blonde could cause in their path towards domination, and he was never willing to bend to their will. Not then, not half a century ago, not now.

    Veneziano cried, “Ciao, Fratello!” as he stepped over the threshold. 

    Romeo returned a much less enthusiastic greeting. “Ciao, Fratello.” He stands awkwardly as Feliciano bounces into the room and makes himself at home. 

    The man Veneziano brought with him, at this point certainly Germany, clears his throat to gain the attention of the youngest Vargas. “Hallo, Feliciano didn’t tell me he had a second brother,” the German said in a terse tone. “It is very interesting that there are three personifications of Italy, don’t you think? Why is that?” he said in an attempt to make conversation.

    Little did the blond know, that was the exact wrong thing to say. “I am not a personification of Italy! I was just assumed to be a part of Italy, but I didn’t even show up as part of the Italian Empire! Even though my brothers don’t accept my independence, I am a recognized country! I have sixteen square miles of land!” the other screeched. Ludwig took a step back and made a mental note not to bring that up again. Apparently, the second brother was even crazier than the first, which was an achievement in and of itself.

    Just when it seemed as though the Italian was going to calm down he latched onto another piece of information. With a look of horror, the other turned towards his brother. Eyes wide he asked slowly, “Veneziano, why does he know your name?” 

    “Well…”

    “Why do you always do this! You can’t keep falling for blond bastards who try to take over the world!”

    “That’s unfair, you sound just like Romano now!”

    “Well, maybe he has a point!”

    Ludwig slowly backed up as the two brothers continued yelling at each other. At one point Feliciano’s brother stood up on top of the table and continued his rant, at which point Ludwig decided that it would be in his best interest to leave the two to it.

==================

     Upset by the turn of events, Romeo decided to meet back up with his friends Peter and Wendy, both of which didn’t have the same convoluted history as there was between the older nations. It was easier to live in the moment than to dwell on the past. After all, if Seborga was never even acknowledged for its past, why should he acknowledge its existence? 

     “Hello, Romeo! Was the guy from last night okay? Were we helpful?” Peter said almost immediately after noticing his friend. Peter was the excitable kind of child, much unlike Wy.

     Romeo was confused until he remembered that Peter knew about the man, Gilbert, because he and Wendy had brought him there. Peter didn’t know that he looked forward to seeing the German, nor why he wanted to. Romeo managed to answer his friend by saying, “Yes, he was okay. Though you did make a mistake of trusting a stranger, you did help him.” Romeo rarely was reminded of how much older he was of his friends, but in that moment he knew that Peter was unaware of the dangers of the world while he most definitely was not.

     Sighing, Romeo said, “I am kind of hungry, how about you? We should go to the store and buy some food.”

    “Well at least we won’t have to eat at a restaurant again,” Wendy replied.

     And so the three micronations found themselves in the aisle of a supermarket staring confused at the German labels on all the food. Romeo found himself trying to figure out what type of pasta was in a box by shaking the box and figuring out the shape of the noodles. Naturally, it was with his face next to a box of uncooked pasta with a look of concentration that Gilbert stumbled upon the Italian.

     “I know, the pasta here has terrible reception,” the man said smirking. Suddenly, Romeo was pulled from his stupor and threw the pasta into his cart. His wishful thoughts had come true and yet when they did, Romeo looked like an idiot. However, the look on the albino's face was one of good humor, though that didn’t stop Romeo from blushing uncontrollably. 

     “Sì, it is much better in Italy,” he said. Gilbert laughed, and Romeo had to admit that when Gilbert laughed it was a spectacle. The white haired man threw his head back and made a strange sound. Maybe it was how Germans laughed? Could whole countries laugh the same strange laugh? Not that that mattered. No, what really mattered is that it somehow was so endearing that it made the other even more attractive than before.

    “If you are an expert in all things Italian, could you help me pick out some good pasta for a friend of mine? I guess you could call him a bit of a fanatic,” Gilbert asked.

    “Of course!” Romeo looked the choices of pasta skeptically as he continued to chat with Gilbert.

    After a few silent moments, Romeo decided upon saying, “If you don’t mind, can I ask you what brings you to this wonderful store?”

    “My little brother is continually trying to kick the awesome me out of the house, which is weird because I’m a pleasure to be around, so I don’t have much choice lately but to go out and do things lest I suffer his wrath. Not to mention we ran out of bleach and pasta. Without bleach, I can’t clean the house correctly, and without pasta, I risk death by hungry Italian. So, you know, typical Tuesday for me,” Gilbert said in one of the dryest tones Romeo had ever heard. He thought he could do it, but he lost his composure and laughed once Gilbert finished his speech.

    “Thanks for the help,” Gilbert said as he turned, obviously about to leave. However, Romeo wasn’t about to lose this guy again.

    Running to catch up with the other, Romeo took a pen out of his pocket at quickly scribbled his phone number on the pale wrist of his new intriguing love interest. In answer to the quizzical look Gilbert gave him, all Romeo said was, “Just in case you need help again.”

    The German nodded and went on shopping while Romeo turned and met up with his friends. After they bought the food Romeo noticed that in his haste he chose the wrong pasta for the sauce he had prepared, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, comments are definitely appreciated! All mistakes are my own.


End file.
